Sunday, July 21, 2013

P.S I Love You !

Love is a very complicated emotion.

It’s very powerful, almost consuming.

Love reaches into the inner most spaces of our being and pulls on the strings of our souls, the tune thus produced may be one of joyful singing or a palpably sad dirge.

Have you seen a man in love?
Trust me, Nothing can match the confidence in his actions or the spring in his step.


On the flipside, have you ever seen a woman with a broken heart?
Can anything compare to the sorrow in her eyes?

That’s what love does to you; it can make you feel like a king one day and a complete nobody the very next.

What I realized lately is that most of the people around us, no matter how happy they may seem suffer from a very weird but real form of loneliness.
They may seem to have it all, but like everyone else at the end of the day we all wish we had someone to hold, someone to cherish, someone set apart from the rest-just for us.

Then why is that in a population that exceeds 1,241,000,000 with people of all different sizes and shapes we find it extremely hard to find that one perfect person who was meant to be ours and ours only.

The reason can be mathematically explained, quite simply-the odds are very high, almost 1 in a billion!!!!

Then there’s the group of people who have actually crossed the metaphoric ‘seven seas’ and broken through barriers of caste and creed, race and religion and found that ‘special someone’ in their lives.

Understandably that group of people is very small.

Most of the love stories of my generation are unfortunately one sided.

We either keep all our feelings bottled up inside waiting for the other person to just magically develop interest in us, or, the few who muster the courage to express themselves are shot down, left lying on the floor, bleeding helplessly because the love was not mutual.
Ironically, the same person who wasn’t interested in you earlier may eventually develop feelings for you, but by that time you are either out of sight or you have moved on with your life.

By far the largest group in the whole love scene today is formed by the ones who keep their feelings to themselves and don’t share them even once with the person they love.

It has always come as a surprise to me that we prefer to sink into depression watching the person we so dearly love slip through our fingers inch by inch day after day, instead of putting it all out there for them to see and know for sure if the feeling is shared or not.

Just think of it, if three words is all it takes to help you be with the one person you are meant to share the rest of your life with, WHY HESITATE?

Sure, the opposite person may let you down stating all sorts of reasons from ‘I never saw you that way’ to ‘Don’t worry you will find someone better than me’. You may also suffer from a great deal of emotional pain but don’t you think it’s a risk worth taking; At least you can move ahead with your life and start looking for someone else.
In time You will Heal
I saw a scene from a TV show a few years back where a guy in a similar situation finally gathers the strength to share his feelings towards the one he loves, the words he used to do it just blew me away-

“I’m so in love with you. I’m sorry if it’s weird for you to hear it but, I just needed you to know…….once”.

Don’t be afraid to love, St’Peter once said- 'Love Covers a Multitude of Sins'.

If there is someone in your life whom you love, don’t wait for the stars to align, things like that happen once in a zillion years.

Tell them.
Remember, Like everything else in life that is worth having, even finding love takes some effort.
Yeah, you may end up with a broken heart but when you look back on your life a few years have passed you will feel relieved that you didn’t waste your time thinking about someone who didn’t feel the same way about you.

If on the other hand your love is reciprocated, the feeling is divine.

To the fortunate ones who have already found love in this life, this is my advice to you- hold them close, tell them how much they mean to you and never let them go, trust me it’s a privilege like none other to have somebody to love.
Until next time,

TGV

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Touch

Do you remember the first time someone handed you an autograph book and asked you to write something in it?

If you do, I am also sure that no matter how hard you resisted reading other peoples entries, you did actually read them.

My first autograph book was that of my chubby friend Sonia whom I had met in math tuition, she was leaving the city and wanted to do so with the best wishes of her close friends.

The book was full of excellent autographs. While most of her friends were after tickling her funny bone; a few others had put in some very touching entries.

Among the funny ones, one of her friends had pasted a stamp of Gandhiji instead of his picture, to the question What was your first crush? The same guy had written ‘I crushed my classmates foot while I was in first grade’

By far, the funniest autograph in her book was from a friend who said- “Keep in touch, but don’t keep touching”!!!

So, What exactly does it mean to keep in touch with someone?

The way I see it, It’s probably just a way of saying ‘Hey, I may be far but I still remember you’.

What we all have experienced is that sometimes despite our best efforts we fail to maintain contact and people we swore to be our best friends forever become part of just good memories that’s all, in other words we ‘lose touch’ of each other.

Another usage of the word is in the form of describing how deeply one’s remarks or actions have affected a person.
It’s common to hear people say ‘What he said touched me ‘or ‘That song was touching’ and so on.

What about the literal interpretation of the same word?

To touch someone means to establish some sort of physical contact with them, it can be something as obvious as a sound thrashing on the street or a subtle handshake, an arm around your shoulder when you feel low or a pat on the back when you do a good job.

When you touch someone, to some extent at least, you are establishing a sort of connection with them, for a brief period in time you are in contact with another human being.

Extrapolating on this, if you give a little more thought to it, for that moment in time you are in ‘touch’ with their hopes, their longings, their dreams and their ambitions.

This thought came to me out of the blue, it sent me spiraling down into a dream like state that was interrupted by the arrival of my latest patient, a 3 year old kid.

Over the years I have heard the heart sounds of thousands of people, it has always been a routine part of my process of examining a patient, I’m not sure if it was because of my confused state of mind or something else, but on that day things were different.

I approached the little boy offering him a handshake, he gently squeezed the tips of my fingers and tried to move my hand up and down, I lifted him off the ground and made him sit on my table.



Lightly holding his shoulder I placed my stethoscope on his chest.

His heart sounds were clear; it was as normal as it could be.                                                                                             

I patiently listened to his heart beat, lubb-dubb, lubb-dubb, lubb-dubb, there was a definite connection there.  

My stethoscope had provided a conduit for my senses to connect with the child right to the core of his very existence-his heart, the seat of all his joys and sorrows on life, the home of all his emotions.

I saw unlimited potential in his wide set eyes that stared back at me innocently and at the same time I wondered if he felt the same connection with me as well.

Trust me, ever since that day it hasn't been easy for me to auscultate a patient, it’s no more about just trying to hear the first or second heart sound or trying discern if there any anomaly therein, I try to look beyond.

Maybe the meaning of all this is that at some level or the other we all are connected.

Probably,how we touch other people’s lives is by becoming part of it-with or without our knowledge.

As Always, Your’s Truly


TGV