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Bent, not broken!

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What do you do when anger takes over? For me, 13 years ago, the answer came in the form of a broken jar. I was frustrated with the argument dad and I were having and I had run out of things to say. I knew very well that what I was about to do was wrong but I let things unfold in the way that they did anyway. The plastic container in my hand was definitely going to break if I threw it on the floor. But I didn't care. My dad stood about ten feet away, watching with a Zen-like stillness as the oblong box sailed through the air. His calmness is why I still remember this moment, even though it happened long ago. To my surprise, and perhaps a little disappointment, I didn’t see anger in his eyes. Instead, his face held an expression of kindness, maybe even pity. That container had been in our household forever. It had carried countless delicious snacks that my brothers and I devoured faster than my parents could refill it. Now, there it lay between us on the floor, a deep gash running th...
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The River Within - Part 3

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The days following the car crash were stressful. I was scheduled to resume work the following morning with no time off for 7 straight days.  The heavy snowfall had caused significant disruptions, and it would take the city weeks to clear the roads.  Driving was still extremely risky, not to mention my car was no longer in a drivable condition. Due to the proximity to Christmas, renting a vehicle was not a viable option, and  with the ongoing pandemic and the severe supply chain crisis, there were very few new cars available for purchase. The ones that were on the market were significantly overpriced.  While these challenges were certainly inconvenient, they were not insurmountable.  Eventually, the ice would melt, and I would be able to purchase another car despite the high demand & when it came to work, I had supportive colleagues who were willing to cover my shifts if I were unable to attend. The part that hit me the hardest, was that I found myself drowni...
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The River Within - Part 2

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"What was the last thing on your mind when the car went out of control"? My wife asked, ending the long silence in the our room. I thought about it for a few seconds and spoke softly to keep our son from waking up. "I was worried how mad you were going to be at me when I got home". This was the truth and it made her laugh. I could feel my facial muscles stretch realizing this was the first time I smiled after the accident. It was a stressful and sombre day for everyone at home. I looked out the window and the snow was still falling although much more gently. My wife slowly drifted off to sleep while I stayed awake playing the events of the day in my head over and over again.  By the next afternoon our insurance company had been notified, the car had been towed, and the police had filed an official report.  After talking myself out of it several times, I ultimately braved the cold and walked to the site of the crash. Our neighborhood looked as though someone had take...
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The River Within - Part 1

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I like to think of a life as a river. When I  compare various facets of a human life to those of a river its hard not to draw parallels. Let me explain. At their origin, when they are only headwaters such as a bubbling spring, a pile of melting snow or a large downpour of rain, no one knows what is to become of them. Some stay exactly as they are, some of them coalesce and become bigger, growing into rivers as they go along. A few rivers run far and deep, coursing through hundreds and thousands of miles creating wonders along the way, branching out into tributaries that provide life sustaining water to millions of people.  Other rivers, are shorter and shallow.  Similarly, no one can predict the full potential of a baby at its birth, or how their actions will influence the world in big or small ways. Every single individual among the the billions of people on earth follows their own unique path that together build, sustain or destroy this place we call home.  Its not...
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Calm In The Midst Of Chaos.

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Jyotsana is a fairly common Indian name. Loosely it translates to 'radiant light', such as that of the moon.  When you think about it, names that mean moonlight are quite popular in many cultures & languages. In spite of having lived in India for nearly 30 years, I have only known three Jyotsanas thus far, only two of whom I have been acquainted with in person, one in each of the schools I attended growing up. Jyotsana Singh was my classmate for 3 years before her father - an air force officer got transferred to a city in North India.  This was several years ago & as you can imagine many details in my memory are lacking. A few things about her though, I will probably remember forever. I didn't realize it at the time but Jyotsana was the first non-conformist that I have had the pleasure of knowing. She wore a bright sky-blue skirt to school everyday that was noticeably different from the our navy blue uniform.  This shade of blue was so unique that one could easily...
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